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I had to laugh at this image that popped up when I typed in "Goliath"! YES! This is how it feels at times, when the part of us that is puny human being is face to face with something huge and scary. It is that "elephant in the room", as my Aunt B says. Well, I've got one thing to say to that beast in front of me - I've got God in my corner, mister! I've got family and friends. I've got prayers and fasting. I've got the temple. I've got the scriptures. I've got a plan for my life that may have included you as a footnote, but you are not the main character or the theme. And guess what? This is not my first rodeo! I've been bucked off before, but I'm going to keep getting up. If you want to follow "my journey", click on the link at the top of the page under my banner. And thanks to all you wonderful "Davids" who are fighting this right along with me - I feel your strength.
If ever I've needed a bucketload of Spring and all the delicious flowers, scents, warmth, and energy it brings, it's TODAY! I've gone without a coat now for...three days. Tomorrow, a storm. Yesterday, when I considered the warmth coming in through the windows of my house, I had longings for that new fence we're supposed to build this summer--just so I could spread a blanket on the lawn (that's also supposed to be built this summer) and just SOAK IT IN without every neighbor's eye on my lily-whites! I walked around our little yard and searched for those first green shoots of the bulbs I planted...but they're still asleep. Come, Spring! I need your healing rays and happy promises.
Remember Marlo Thomas in the TV sitcom "That Girl" in the 60's? I loved that show! Marlo was perky, beautiful, smart, & funny...and to top it off, she had the cutest hair! The year was 1968--I was 9 years old. I was visiting Grandma Lillie at her house on Woodlawn Avenue in Montpelier (had to be summer--look at those shorts and white anklets!) and I begged Grandma to let me go to the beauty parlor to get my hair done like Marlo. She had to have been somewhat reluctant--I WAS only 9 and liked to climb trees and ride bikes and rollerskate, and I'm sure it cost her a pretty penny--but bless her sweet heart! she agreed. I remember the invigorating shampoo as I lay back in the chair...I remember the mountains of fat curlers pinned to my head and sitting under the hot, noisy dryer...I remember the thick clouds of hairspray that glued the hairstyle to my head...and then, I remember Grandma taking this picture in her driveway, with the poppies waving willy-nilly behind me in the summer breeze, and me feeling so very grown up and HIP and beautiful! I also remember Grandma urging me to "be a lady" so all the work and expense of this "do" would last, and oh, I tried so hard. I even remember going to bed that night and trying to sleep without my head touching the pillow, which was, of course, impossible, so that I awoke the next morning to disaster--no more curls, no more poof, no more Marlo. Just plain old me. My little heart was broken. I was sad for Grandma, too, that she had paid for something that lasted only one day and could not be fixed or redone, no matter how hard we tried. It taught me a lesson about vanity and how quickly our pride can be dashed! It also taught me that nothing is so important as what's inside. And when Grandma helped me comb out the snarls from the hairspray and said, "It's okay. I like you better this way," I believed her, thank heavens.
Once upon a time, this sweet dog came into my life. She was a "pound" dog, and we chose her because she sat at the door of her cage and wagged her tail at us without a sound. The place was chaotic with barking dogs, clamoring for our attention, but she (wisely) captured our hearts with her big brown eyes and fluffy tail. When we found out she was born around Valentine's Day, we named her "Candy" after the faithful dog of Grandpa Wilford, and she lived with us for 14 years. She was a nuisance at times (yes, she COULD bark! and nibble at little people!), but mostly she taught us unconditional love. She liked comfy laps, babies who threw food on the floor, turkey ham, a scratch between the ears, the back of the couch where she could look out the window and be warmed by the sun, and rides in the car. She did NOT like sirens, thunder, getting her hair cut, babies who pulled her tail, being shut up in the bathroom when the UPS guy came, and the liver nuggets in her dog food. She was affectionately called "Canders" and could "yowl" with My Quiet Man. She was happy when we walked in the door and watched for us to come back when we left. I miss the way she'd "fluff up" a place to sleep and then sigh when she was settled. Sometimes I call for her when I drop something on the floor, wishing she'd come trotting over and slurp it up for me. She was a good dog. Very Good. My little Candy...
Lately a scene from one my favorite movies has been running through my mind: Yentl, who is really a girl dressed as a boy, goes to a wardrobe fitting for her/his wedding to Hadass and has a hard time keeping her/his disguise from the tailor. "Embarrassed in front of his tailor? A tailor is like a doctor!" Finally, she/he admits: "Look at this, look how easily I fool them. They may have eyes, but they don't see. They never really look at me. People are blind...how else would everyone believe me?" Every day we "look" at people...or not...and believe that they are one thing or another--happy, sad, dangerous, shy, wicked, angelic, poor, rich, idiotic or intelligent. The truth is, we have eyes but we don't see. Many times I've made a quick judgment at first glance, and then come to know what is real. Marjorie Hinckley said, "Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." We put on one face for the "world", thinking to hide what is real, when truthfully, we are all just little children of a loving Father who truly SEES inside. He sees that hard battle, that sore broken part, that scary unknown...and He blesses. Peace. Comfort. Healing. Believing. Loving.
I am an admitted homebody, and at times, eager to be alone. As a child, I preferred playing by myself (and all those imaginary playmates) than with the neighborhood friends. I shut the door, pulled the curtain, climbed the tree, crawled inside--all for the sake of inventing my own dialogue, my own scenery, my own orchestrations, my own jokes, my own pace. Even today, I come home from dropping off My Girl at school, hurry through the stacks of dishes and laundry and paper trails, and then snuggle into the recliner with the latest library book or Netflix movie before I need to be at the computer. My alone-at-home time...however brief...is an amazing comfort in the rattle of my days.
Our trip south for President's Day included squishy hugs and kisses, opening belated birthday gifts, smiles and laughter, food--glorious food--in delicious abundance, basketball, race cars, champion horses, church with pretty girls in dresses and a handsome boy brave enough to give his first talk, shopping for books and gadgets, "swumming" indoors, snowflakes on red rocks, Vicks vapor rub & pills, Uno Moo, popcorn, neck wraps, puzzles with extra pieces, Chester in a sweater, sniffles & coughs, countdown to baby brother, and meeting the newest puppy of the family, Mr. Scooby Doo. Look at those eyes... Yep, he had us at "Ruff"! I do love our growing brood and the time we can spend together. Just wish it came around every other week or so...
I had to laugh at this image that popped up when I typed in "Goliath"! YES! This is how it feels at times, when the part of us that is puny human being is face to face with something huge and scary. It is that "elephant in the room", as my Aunt B says. Well, I've got one thing to say to that beast in front of me - I've got God in my corner, mister! I've got family and friends. I've got prayers and fasting. I've got the temple. I've got the scriptures. I've got a plan for my life that may have included you as a footnote, but you are not the main character or the theme. And guess what? This is not my first rodeo! I've been bucked off before, but I'm going to keep getting up. If you want to follow "my journey", click on the link at the top of the page under my banner. And thanks to all you wonderful "Davids" who are fighting this right along with me - I feel your strength. 
